I don't even know where to begin with this post. I guess I will start with the back ground information and then end with the current situation.
Back in April, Neight and I found out that an aunt that was renting his grandmother's house lost her job and couldn't make the payments for the house. Well, Neight's grandmother had not lived in the house for 3+ years and couldn't make the payments either. So, to keep the house in the "family" Neight and I decided that we would try for it. We had been talking about purchasing a house and even found some we were interested in. Our apartment lease was set to end in July and we figured that would be enough time to find a house and make it ours. We were very, very, very wrong. With the house being Neight's grandmother's our Realtor had to buy it to take it out of the Korous name and then sell it to us.
As the months went by we really didn't hear much other than Neight's grandmother had signed all of the paperwork to sell the house. Any time we had contact with the Realtor we had to contact him... We didn't even get a phone call to update us on the status.... we still don't get a phone call. Anyway, at the beginning of July we hadn't heard anything about the house and we didn't know what to do with our living situation. We called the Realtor to find out what to do and he said that he "thought" we could move into the house, but he needed to find out. He told us to call him in two weeks....... In reality he should have been the one to call us.... but with no phone calls previous we waited the two weeks.
Two weeks later we called the Realtor and asked him, once again, if we could move into the house. In response to this, he asked another Realtor that was sitting next to him if it was o.k. to do that...... SERIOUSLY!!!!!!! Why couldn't he have done that two weeks previous!? So we had our deadline of two weeks to tear up the carpet, paint the walls, clean, and make the house livable (the aunt had neglected the poor house and it was a disaster.) That weekend Neight and I had planned to go down and visit my grandma, after talking about it and looking at our schedules Neight decided that because he already had the weekend off he would get some of our friends and fix the house up that weekend. I'm not sure of all the details, but when I got home Sunday I found out that there had been a slight bump in the road of painting..... There was wall paper in the two bedrooms.... Not just one layer, and not just two, but THREE layers of wall paper..... and each layer of wall paper had been painted over. Neight did a lot that weekend and it sucked that I wasn't here to help. With the amount of wall paper that there was the walls didn't get painted, but the carpet did get pulled up, making the house smell so much better (the carpet was covered in dog urine that had stained the padding underneath.)
With that little set back in repairs I started to FREAK out. I had no idea how we were going to pull everything off in the short amount of time. All of our spare time was devoted to getting the house ready. On Pioneer Day (25), I started to prime the walls. it took me 12 hours (by myself, Neight was helping my Dad with other repairs) and I only got 3 of the 4 areas done. We were scheduled to moved on that Friday the 29th. I panicked. Neight and I both had Thursday off, so we decided that we would work in the house all day and finishing painting and cleaning. After working all day on Thursday we had just barley finished all of the painting, but none of the cleaning. We left the house at 11 pm and went to the apartment to finish packing. I was up until 4:30 am trying to get things packed and ready to go, with a meeting at work at 8 am. I got two hours of sleep that night and amazingly had enough energy to keep going. It must have been the adrenaline that was flowing through me that kept me going. We had found out on Tuesday that the bank had approved the sale to the Realtor and we were really going to get the house.
We moved all our stuff in last Friday and cleaned the apartment and turned in our keys on Saturday. Finally we were all moved and were getting the house, or so we thought. Yesterday, Neight got a call from the Realtor asking when we would be moved in so he could set up showings of the house! WTF?!?!? A few days previous we had been told that we would be closing on the house in 90 days.... I was so upset that I cried, and cried, and cried. Even today I still am very upset and don't know what to think. The Realtor said that this morning's showing was to another Realtor, just in case our loan doesn't go through. Well, and this point if anyone makes a higher offer than we do in the next 90 days we won't be getting the house..... Just our luck.
I just want a nice home where I can raise a family..... Although, when we first decided to try to get the "family" house we said it would just be a starter house and that later we would sell it or rent it. I hope that's what it is, because I really don't want to live here for the rest of my life. It's also very upsetting because I don't know if we are making the right choice. With the housing market right now, we could have a huge, awesome, beautiful house for half the price of what it was originally sold for. I get jealous hearing about the awesome deals every one is getting, especially with the houses being in better shape than "ours." Are we doing the right thing by trying to keep this one in the "family?" Everyone has so many memories here, that maybe it is. Like I said, I just don't know what to do at this point. I guess things happen for a reason and if it is meant to be, then it's meant to be......
Here's for another few months of this roller coaster ride...... Hopefully by the end of the year I will be able to have a house to call my home.
Take my opinion with a grain of salt, but I'll give it to you anyway.
ReplyDeleteFirst, it is WAY exciting that you're getting a house at all! Congratulations! I'm so happy for you!
Try to remember that a house is a home no matter if it doesn't feel as perfect as you'd like. You're also not paying rent anymore, which is AMAZING! And no matter what shape the house is in, it's still a freaking house! It's part of the extreme excitements of getting married and growing up. Somewhere in all the stress, don't forget to be excited.
Second, don't be afraid to let this house go. I realize I have no say in Neight's family and their memories, but I can relate.
All of my siblings have been attached to my parents' house for years. We love the big room, it's home, it's where all of us grew up -- most of us for our entire lives. We have been telling my parents forever that they are never allowed to even consider selling it and they have to leave it in the family when they're gone or don't want to be in charge of a house anymore.
Slowly, we've all changed our minds. Me especially.
As John and I looked at houses getting one for us, I saw all sorts of houses: some old, some new, some beat up, some pristine, some smaller, some huge. Because of our situation we knew we could and wanted to get one that we'd be able to stay in forever, but we also thought long and hard about what we could move on from. Very few people stay in the first house they buy, especially these days.
The more I thought about what we want and what we may do with our lives, the more I realized that the house is not memories itself. And keeping a house in the family purely for sentimentality is NOT always worth keeping a junky old house.
My parents house is over 30 years old. It has more problems than we can keep track of, it was never the nicest house, my Dad worked on it only to just good enough, and it lived through ten children and many more grandchildren, all of which beat it up. We love that house. We'll always be fond of that house. But I won't shed more than a tear if my parents decide their money and life is worth a nicer, newer, smaller place in their old age. At one point I actually told John that we should try convincing my parents to get something better.
It is important to keep the memories, but that doesn't always mean keep the house.
In this housing market, like you said, you can get a lot more for your money. Most likely more than we'll see for decades. It is simply the smart thing to do to get a house that you can afford now, that will ALSO give you back more than what you put into it. Old junky houses don't usually do that. After about 30 years, sure they increase in value like everything does, but nothing like they did in their first 15 or so years. If you put your money into something less than its worth now, you're going to get less than you could have when you decide it's time to move.
That doesn't mean all old houses aren't worth it, but it does mean that you need to consider what the house will likely comparably sell for when you're ready to.
And last, DO NOT make a decision this big based on what everyone else wants. If you and Neight decide that this is the house YOU TWO want, for whatever reasons, then by all means get it! But if you're only doing it because your Aunt and Grandma and family want you to, DON'T DO IT! You WILL regret making decisions together that are not your own.
Also, don't be afraid of dropping this just because you've already put so much work into it. Tick that time into learning experiences, and perhaps some service. Whatever.
Get and do whatever is best for you.
Even if that is this house.
i love you. good luck :(
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